Trinket of open writing from my heart about my faith in times of difficulty

 

I have written in my lifetime testimony which I have shared on this blog. I have mentioned in my childhood I developed an eating disorder and later was gifted with one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. I also had at that point an undiagnosed quite severe sensory/autism condition which now was diagnosed in later life. 

The struggle though in my teens-early 40s was quite great and I would often turn to the Lord and God my father. I didn't feel home alone which damapened a sense of isolation actually being alone in the person. These writings were not said prayers, but thoughts from my heart at that time. We can all struggle and in difficult times if you hold onto God he will not abandon you in difficult times.I am 52 today.

Allow me to share some with you-

25/01/01- Age 27

There I go for the grace of God, my undying sustainer. Hear me God-my God I am down. My God I am down. My God I am down my God lift me up. My God My sweet God be with me- My sweet help me God. My Sweet God-Help Me.

4-08- 2000 Age 27

I pray to Lord God to help me to get out of the stinking rut and mire that I have dug for myself. 

18/01/01-Age 27

God you promised me a place to hide. Lord you promised me that I would live and not die. 

Age 28-July 29th June 2001-I was seriously unwell in hospital and was praying to be saved. I prayed that the legs that were broken will again walk one day. 

- Miss Obanubi is on ward. 

-Numerous Bible references

-Praying she will not die 

14/03/99-  A Bad Day (1999) Age 25-26 (Things were difficult then but life has got better).

I feel that I had so much to do, but I didn't have a chance to do any of it 

My Heavely protector forsake me? Forsake me not for I am the forsaken.
 

(1999) Age 25-26

My life is over, I feel tyed-strangled and dumped at sea. I feel desolate I call out but hear and see the emptiness and sadness of my own life. For I am trapped with no respice. I do hope God that the worst is over.

 God Help Me

Age 41 

 Dear Lord wipe away my tears. 

...

1994-Age 21- This was someones response to me who had words of encouragement.

                                       

 

09/09/04 Age 31

You have to believe Jesus is who he says he is for it to mean anything. You have to be born again first.
On being born again read John 3 v 3
On baptism read Romans 6 v 1-4

God really does love YOU!
But YOU have to make an effort too, to show him how much you love Him and you will be rewarded, I've never felt so loved.
There are no humans that can love the way God loves.

I love Jesus and I always will that's for sure and that will never change.
I am only obeying God and that is the most important thing to me.